Jan. 2
Today was the annual family meeting where we (in this case only I, as usual) have a chance to sit down with the doctor, the charge nurse on his floor and recreation to evaluate how dad has been and what we can do in the future for him. His health basically is stable; his meds will remain the same but I discussed how I think that he has deteriorated mentally; it takes him longer to recognize me and sometimes my presence doesn't seem to affect him positively. The doctor said that this is to be expected (of course); he also told me that they are having a problem getting dad up to walk every day. Lately most days he can't walk at all and it now takes 3 people to give him his shower. I asked that they not stop trying, as he really needs to get off his buttocks. They agreed. He continues to eat well; I have ordered a new wheelchair for him that will hopefully hold his legs in a more comfortable position and give him more back support. The skin on his buttocks looks fine, no sores and I want to keep it that way, so I requested that they try and toilet him more often; I don't like to find him wet. They said they would try; the doctor suggested I meet with the head nurse to discuss this. And that was about it; the doctor literally ran out of the room.

Since dad had had his shower just before the meeting, he was pretty sleepy so I took him back to his room where I tried speaking with him, but it was pretty hopeless, so I left for work.

On the way out I dropped into the head nurse's office; she had a moment so I mentioned my dissatisfaction with dad's toileting. She suggested that we put him on a retraining program, because he will ask to go, particularly for a bowel movement. I asked her why no-one had suggested retraining before; she couldn't say. This then led into a discussion of staff attitude; I told her I was still having a problem getting help to toilet dad. If I asked the wrong person, I was told that dad wasn't her resident...you know the story. Since the home is supposed to use the team approach, this situation should not arise. She said she would look into it and get back to me.

Jan. 8
I am having minor foot surgery tomorrow so went by to see dad this afternoon. Again he took a long time to recognize me; when I asked him my name a few minutes later, he said Karen but without seeming to understand. When I arrived they were toileting him...nice surprise...but the staff told me he fights them when they try and gets really agitated. So we agreed to try the retraining for another week.

He didn't seem to be in a very good mood; he asked what we were going to do. Since it was pouring rain out, I suggested we go to the rec room, for what I didn't know. I pulled out some magazines and tried to show him pictures and relive past travel adventures we have both had had, but I really can't tell how well he sees the pictures and he has no attention span, so it's discouraging. There isn't much we can do together in the winter, except go to an activity and try to keep him involved. There was a poetry reading session so we stayed for that. Cathie, the rec therapist uses a mic to read short poems and comments; then asks the seniors what they think and feel about the subjects. She also gives them a chance to read out loud. It is really interesting to watch and listen; they did describe past memories of Christmas and what it was like to be a senior and perceived to be 'not a whole person' because of some disability. We served tea and cookies and dad remained engaged, thank the lord. Probably because of the promise of food! I left him wheeling along the hall on his floor in his wheelchair; I said goodbye and he seemed to block me out.

Miajan, his new companion, will start this weekend. Yahoo! He'll spend the afternoons with dad and give him his supper; we have yet to finalize the schedule but I am relieved. He is a very kind, intelligent person. I pray dad likes him.

Jan. 29
Miajan took dad shopping today, since he missed the last outing. They went to Yorkdale; explored the shops, had lunch and then came back. Apparently dad enjoyed himself; seems to be settling in with Miajan.